December 8th
My Dearest Love Gary:
I went to the door today and the postman delivered me a partridge in a pear tree.
What a delightful Christmas gift. I couldn't have been more surprised. She is so sweet!
With all my love and affection. You are so considerate!
Olga

December 9th
Dearest Gary:
Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine, two turtledoves.... I'm just delighted at how thoughtful you are this holiday season. The doves are just adorable.
All my love,
Olga

December 10th
Dear Gary:
Oh, aren't you the extravagant one! Now I must protest. I don't deserve such generosity. Three French hens. They are just darling but I must insist ... you're just too kind.
Love,
Olga

December 11th
Dear Gary:
Today the postman delivered four calling birds. Now really! They are beautiful, but don't you think enough is enough? You're being too romantic.
Affectionately,
Olga

December 12th
My Dearest Love Gary:
What a surprise! Today the postman delivered five golden rings. One for each finger. You're just impossible, but I love it. Frankly, Gary, all those squawking birds were beginning to get on my nerves....but this! What a thoughtful man you are!
All my love forever,
Olga

December 13th
Dear Gary:
Today I opened the door there were actually six geese a-laying on my front steps. So you're back to the birds again, huh? Those geese are huge. What the heck am I supposed to do with them? The neighbors are complaining and I can't sleep through the racket.
PLEASE STOP!
Cordially,
Olga

December 14th
Dang it Gary!
What's with you and those darn birds???? Seven swans a-swimming. What kind of sick joke is this? There's bird poop all over the house and the racket never stops! I'm a nervous wreck and I can't sleep all night. IT'S NOT FUNNY ....... So stop with those darn birds.
Olga

December 15th
OK Buster!
I think I prefer the birds. What the heck am I going to do with eight maids a-milking? It's not enough with all those birds but those eight maids a-milking had to bring their own darn cows. There are piles of poop all over the lawn and I can't move in my own house. Just lay off me WISE GUY!

December 16th
Hey Dip-Stick!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What are you? Some kind of weird sadist? Now there are nine pipers piping at my house and darn - do they pipe!! They haven't stopped chasing those maids since they got here yesterday morning. That has the cows upset and they are tromping all over those screeching birds. No wonder they make such a noise! What the heck am I going to do?
The neighbors have started a petition to evict me. You'll get yours.
From
Me

December 17th
You Rotten Pig!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now there's ten ladies dancing - and I use the term "ladies" loosely! They've been flirting with those nine pipers all night long. Now the cows can't sleep and they've got diarrhea. My living room is a river of poop. The commissioner of buildings has subpoenaed me to give cause why the building shouldn't be condemned. I'm calling the police on you.
One who means it,
Me

December 18th
Listen you #$%$#@$#%# Jerk!
What's with the eleven lords a-leaping on those maids and aforementioned "ladies"? Some of those girls will never walk again. Then, those pipers ran through the maids and have been committing ghastly acts with the cows. All of the birds are dead. They have been trampled to death in the orgy. I hope you're satisfied, you rotten swine.
Your sworn enemy,
Miss Olga Darling-Spear

December 19th
(From the law offices Barlekis, White and Suesee)
Dear Sir:
This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve drummers drumming, which you have seen fit to inflict on our client, Miss Olga Darling-Spear. The destruction, of course, was total.
All future correspondence should come to our attention. If you should attempt to reach Miss Darling-Spear at Happy-Valhalla Sanitarium, the attendants have instructions to shoot you on sight.
With this letter, please find attached a warrant for your arrest.
Barlekis, White and Suesee
Attorneys at Law

Hmmmmm? Partridges and fowl in general? Drummers? Pipers? Golden Rings? Cows? Leaping Lords? Warrants for your arrest! There should be something here you can use to make an object! Perhaps one for each day? So this one will run for 12 days! Merry Christmas!

	MEET OLGA
Mary Lou	Acadie	Mary Lou

Bnkr	Boop	Mary Lou

Lorraine	Barlekis

Mary Lou	Tom